I don't know what to say. I'm just writing it all.

<3

2007-09-16T08:57:54Z

My gosh, I love the way he makes me feel. I hope it stays like this forever. I could get really use to that happy-tingley feeling all the time. I really think and hope he's it for me.

Two strangers turning into dust

2007-08-26T16:29:53Z

It was so long ago that I posted about a moment I would have when I had to say good bye to someone, who didn't know at the time, that I loved. Tomorrow, he comes back. And since then, so much has happened but for the good.
I remember so clearly of saying good bye to him. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I remember him standing there, holding me, looking at me, and telling me everything was going to okay. I started to cry and then he started. He gave me one last kiss and hugged me like he would never again, turned to his family and said goodbye then walked over to check in. I watched him go inside and he turned around one last time, waved, and then the sliding doors closed. That was the last I saw him.

From there, the emails came daily, but sometimes went to once a week depending on where he was. Calls, letters, postcards. By half way, I realized one day how much I needed to tell him that I loved him and I wasn't going to be able to wait till he came back home. So one afternoon, sitting in my car at a Walmart parking lot, I told him. And he told me that he loved me too. And that he felt it before he left but he didn't want to scare me away.

It seemed since that day, we came closer. He was millions of miles away yet if I read an email, heard his voice, or looked over his writing, it was as if he was sitting right beside me.

It wasn't always perfect. There were ups and downs. Things happened over the summer where I needed him, but he wasn't there. Any time something happened, my first thought was, 'Why can't he be here..' Always. But somehow despite him not being here, and talking to him about what was bothering me, he made me feel better. Sometimes miscommunication happened too, but some how in the end - things worked itself out.

In less then 48 hours, he's going to be home. And this is how the new moment will go:
He'll come out from those sliding doors and search for familar faces. He'll eventually find them - his parents, sister, me (even though he has no idea that I'm going to be there). He'll rush over, drop his bags, and begin to hug his family. Then he'll turn to me and give me a kiss that we've both been waiting for for so long and then he'll hug me. He'll question for a slight second why I'm there but then realize it's just a surprise and he's glad it happened. I will probably get teary-eyed because I'm so happy to see him and vice versa. Then he'll take my hand, grab his bags, and we all walk out of the airport telling him how much it's good to have him home.

thebestofjenn @ 2007-07-27T21:23:00

2007-07-28T03:24:28Z

Tomorrow, my mother and his mother meet. It's happening at an awkward setting, but it's happening. I'm kinda nervous. No wait I lied. I'm really nervous.

thebestofjenn @ 2007-07-16T18:33:00

2007-07-17T00:36:44Z

I think I'm going to turn into an alcoholic..or a smoker..because at the rate this household is going - I'm definately headed into either direction plus I'm in endulging in one and craving the other.

Moment

2007-07-11T00:21:50Z

*Walking back to the daycare from the park*
Kai: Jennifer, why are we at the back of the line?
Jenn: Because Maria's going to lead the group now.
Kai:...oh...*dissappointed*
Jenn: It's okay if we're at the end of the line. Do you know what it means when you're at the back of the line?
Kai: No..
Jenn: It means that the cool people are at the back of the line.
Kai: *smiles* Yeah..and we're movie stars too!

More trees. Less Bush.

2007-07-07T21:01:09Z

What the eff. I just wrote like a shit load of stuff and now it's all gone. Bah.

Anyways, today's the Live Earth day. It's really cool to constantly be changing the channel to something even cooler. Watching all these artists perform and listen about how we can change our planet to the good before it becomes too late - is really inspiring. And I could tell or maybe just noticed, today especially a change in everyone's attitude about saving the planet.
I'm not sure if you've seen them, but with President's Choice they've started selling these recycled - organic material bags to cut down the usage of plastic bags. The goal is to cut down by 1 billion plastic bags each year if people started using these black bags when they purchase their groceries. Well today when I went to go run some errands for my menopausal mother, I noticed people were buying these bags like MAD. People walking through the front entrance - asking for the bag. People asking store clerks - asking for the bags. People standing in line - requesting for the black bag. Black bag, black bag, black bag.
Granted, they're not THAT big if let's say you had a huge load of groceries, but if its quick shopping they're ideal.. You can even use them for other things like for me - I've used it to carry stuff for work or my lunch. I'm actually considering of buying a couple of more and keeping them in the car when I go shopping or something.

Feel good about saving the world. Get the black bag. It's only .99 cents!

Also, my boyfriend rocks my socks. It's random but I just had to throw that in there..

My Sunday went something like...this.

2007-06-25T04:41:48Z

-Ate at Ricky's
-Bought a table for my room
-Got a migraine
-Did homework while having a migraine
-Tried to change my exam date to a later one but I can't
-Slept the afternoon away
-Got a phone call from the boyfriend
-Had money stolen from my bank account
-Saved a lost puppy

Yeeeep! That was my Sunday..not by anymeans exciting.

Sky swims in Heaven.

2007-06-23T03:56:59Z

Today at work, despite all the fun at carnival, I got some serious, sad news about a coworker. Someone I worked with through aquatics from free swim times and swimming lessons - passed away suddenly. We don't know the details, but it happened today and while I was being told about it - so was his team. I had JUST seen this person at the beginning of the week and talking in a full-blown conversation about Stampede and possible plans.
Skylar, was 20.

I've gone through this before, where I lost a friend and realized how much we take life for granted. But this time is different and comparing the two situations is different too. With Ash, I knew her time was coming. With Sky's, it wasn't by any means expected. To fully comprehend a coworker's death - who you saw everyday - is confusing..frustrating..heart-wrenching. How can one person who is so young and has their life planned out - be gone in an instant? Sadly, the possiblity is there..and I don't think everyone realizes that.

When people say you have to live life by the fullest or you need to treat each day as if it was your last - they're right! You really do. No, you can't dwell everyday that it could be your last - but you need to make each day different from its yesterday. You really do.

thebestofjenn @ 2007-06-17T15:55:00

2007-06-17T21:58:46Z

This song makes me cry.

"When You're Gone" - Avril Lavigne

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me

Pep.Si.

2007-06-17T21:41:23Z

With the move happening in less then two weeks, my mom and I have been deciding on furniture for my room. Last night we went to IKEA to go look at the beds again..dresser..desk..etcs.
I realized that the original bed I wanted to get - the black iron one http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S29825628, is going to require a box spring. That meant with the bed, mattress, and boxspring, any money I got back from income tax would be completely wiped out. On just a bed. So looking for something that's not going to require a box spring, I then saw this: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S69835277, thinking that it would match the dresser and nightstand I wanted. Going this route would let me have remaining income tax money.
After we went home, my mom was telling my dad about a bed that SHE was interested in and wanted to go back today. So I went along with them.
Looking at my newest choice, I realized that I hated it. I hate how it curves at the top and to me, it looks like a bed you would see at a hotel somewhere. So once again, I started browsing and was back at square one.
After much consideration, I'm going to go for this one: http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S99825494
There is a matching night stand by I'm not getting it. I'm going to get a black iron table and it has a star in the middle. The only problem with the new decision is that because its the "antique wood" look, I have to get a matching dresser which is going to cost me more than the original dresser.
But in the end, it's gonna look good. I'm excited.

"I was so lost back then.."

2007-06-13T02:17:57Z

-I wish I knew how to hookup my mp3 player to car. The setup seems easy but getting it connected is a different story..I think I need another plug of some sort..because I don't have the "ipod". Maybe someone from Best Buy can help me figure it out..

-After going to the emergency about my retarded pink eye, it earned me time off work. Whoo! Well..sort of. I've never been in so much pain over this..it's scary. Now I have to watch my sight because they said if it doesn't get better, my vision can go blurry...

-School is being presently annoying. Having a busy life is hard when you have school. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

-I saved a family of ducks yesterday! After having a crap day, it was a good feeling to have :)

-I miss him. I didn't think I would this much, but. I really miss him and it makes me sad.

What a douche.

2007-06-07T22:44:34Z

After a whopping three days, the heiress is reassigned to house arrest.

by Ryan Porter

After a grimy three days that will go down as "not hot" in Paris Hilton's legacy, the 26-year-old heiress and publicity princess is out of jail and under house arrest, sporting a fashionable ankle bracelet.
House party!

She was released Thursday, June 7, shortly after midnight. Her 45 day sentence for breaking probation on a DUI charge was originally going to be sliced to 23 days pending cooperative behaviour. She will now serve 40 days because the hour or two she served before midnight on Sunday and after midnight on Thursday are being counted as full days.

"After extensive consultation with medical personnel, including doctors here at CRDF [Century Regional Detention Facility], it was determined that Paris Hilton would be reassigned to our community based alternatives to custody electronic monitoring program," Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department spokesguy Steve Whitmore said Thursday morning. This decision comes after Paris took a 90-minute meeting with her psychiatrist on Tuesday, June 5.

Reports had claimed Paris was having a rough go of it in jail. Stuck in solitary confinement for her own benefit, she's been crying herself to sleep, listening to the round-the-clock hoopla of the other inmates. Paris's aunt, Kyle Richards, sister of Kathy Hilton, said the family had planned to send her a luxury sleepmask and earplugs but were unsure if the jail would allow such luxuries.

The early escape comes with a precedent. Lost star Michelle Rodriquez was sentenced to the same jail, L.A.'s Century Regional Detention Facility, in May 2006, and, because of overcrowding, was released on the same day she was incarcerated. The Los Angles County Sheriff's spokesman, Steve Whitmore, had previously told the Associated Press that Paris was not eligible to be released any earlier than the rumoured 23 days. "The situation in the jail will not determine [Hilton's] release," Steve said. "She has been given a full sentence.
She will do her full sentence."

Despite a lot of trash-talking before the heiress went in to serve her time, the inmates proved to be as star-struck by Paris as anyone.
"They've been really nice to her," aunt Kyle, who appeared on Little House on the Prarie, told E! Online. She said there's been a lot of, "Hey, Paris! How's it going? Paris, Paris!" TMZ reported that another prisoner slipped an oragami bird under her door.

So was justice served? After bravely refusing a pay jail in the hopes that it would sway public opinion, this cop-out only stregthens the impression that Paris is a softie of a socialite who can't sleep without her teddy bear. Or maybe she was going into wang deprivation.
While she'll certainly be sleeping better for the next month, all that talk of character-building and serving as an example of the consequences of driving under the influence just lost all its impact.
At least she'll have plenty of time to watch people's disgust unfold on TV. We'd take jail.

Well, kids. If you drink and drive, you're only going to get house arrest anyway. So drink away!

sigh

2007-06-03T16:08:25Z

Oh thank God. I can finally breathe again.
This means I can still get that retardedly expensive dress at Jacob still.

Good Old Avril knows how to put it.

2007-05-27T00:05:03Z

"Keep Holding On"

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Keep holding on
Keep holding on

There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

6 Year Old + 21 Year Old = Deep Conversation Pt.2

2007-05-25T16:43:41Z

Katie: Jennifer, have you and your boyfriend gone on dates?
Jenn: Yep.
Katie: Aw cute. Are you going to go on a date when he comes back?
Jenn: Yeah probably. I don't know.
Katie: You should. And do you know what you should wear?
Jenn: What should I wear?
Katie: You should wear a dress. And then when you go on a date with TIm, you should go for supper and then go see a movie and then go dancing. And when you go dancing, he can twirl you so then your dress moves and it will be pretty.
Jenn: *laughs* What do you know about dates? Have you ever gone on one?
Katie: No but my parents go on dates and last time they went on a date, they went dancing and my dad twirled my mom when they were dancing. And do you know whatelse the boy has to do when you go on a date?
Jenn: What?
Katie: *grabs Jenn's hand* they have to hold your hand like this! Does Tim hold your hand like this?
Jenn: Yep.
Katie: Okay good. He's a good boyfriend.

All I smell is nailpolish.

2007-05-23T01:59:43Z

How do you get someone to tell you that they love you?
How do you know when they love you?
Or how do you tell them that you love them?
How do you find the right moment?
When do you know it's the right moment?
How do you know if you're wasting your time or not?
What if you miss that moment and it never comes back?

What if you say it and it scares them off?

Behind every great man, is a great woman.

2007-05-21T03:11:43Z

Even though I've got loads of time still left, I've already started planning on what I want to do when Tim gets back. Like a special day/night out of just the two of us.
It's going to involve a hotel and it can't be out of town just in case of whatever is going on at the time.
SO if you know any good hotels that are fairly reasonable (my max. is $200 just because he paid lots when he planned it all out before he left).
I've started checking up on Expedia and its been pretty helpful.
I'm not sure if I want it directly downtown..just because its kind of crazy down there. But throw out ideas, places to stay, etc.

Me+ 5Yr Old + Boys = A Conversation

2007-05-19T00:22:47Z

*Walking back from the movie theatre this afternoon*

Katie: Jennifer, do you still have your boyfriend?
Jenn: Yep.
Katie: He's in the world right now, right?
Jenn: He's travelling the world.
Katie: Right. Travelling the world.
*silence*
Katie: Do you kiss your boyfriend?
Jenn: Yeah.
Katie. Do you kiss him all the time?
Jenn: *laughs* Katie!
Katie: What? I kiss my boyfriends all the time! (notice the s at the end of boyfriend? haha)
Jenn: Okay..
*Katie picks up an old dandylion and blows it away*
Katie: I made a wish.
Jenn: Good job.
Katie: I wished that you kiss your boyfriend all day long when he comes back from travelling the world.
*Jenn smiles at Katie*
Katie: I also wished that my mom would changer her mind and let me have you come to my birthday party this
weekend.

Eating Gelato

2007-05-18T03:02:31Z

I think this is how my summers can be symbolized:

Lunch dates on patios and then going for ice cream afterwards.
Soaking up the sun whenever possible
Waterfights
Strolling with a coffee in one hand
Summer nights spent talking about nothing
Shorts and dresses and flip flops
Picnics/BBQs
Skin going dark, hair going light
Bikinis and sunglasses

Reuniting - one person at a time.

2007-05-12T04:30:03Z

My day was offically made today when I found out Jesse is now out here in cowtown too! He's such a great person and oh, we have some great memories..
We always joked about how we were each envious of one another because he wanted to be in Annuals & Perennials (where all the cool people were and had the most fun), and how I wanted to work with Trade & Landscape (because they had the easiest work of all - just handpicking orders all day long!).
So probably within the next few days we're gonna hookup and catch up on everything.
This is what you call - awesome.

A New Day Comes

2007-05-10T00:19:38Z

It's getting easier as time goes on. My theory is as long as no one asks me how its going, then I'm good to go. I can offically say I'm done with crying, thank god. My eyes were really getting an ass kicking these past couple of days.
I emailed him back last night, so I'll probably get something within in the next couple of days.

In the meantime, the only way time will go by fast and I don't concentrate on him being here, is that I make plans. Long-term, short-term, whatever. Do stuff that is going to get me busy and productive. Here's my list of things to do by the end of August:

Trips to:
Radium, Jasper, Edmonton

Hobbies:
My black and white photography portfolio, more urban photo taking, golfing, fishing, reading

Fitness:
Able to pull off two - three runs a week, lose offically 15lbs (which starts tomorrow)

Outdoorsy:
Camping, Hikes <--bought a book today

Misc:
Redecorating which will happen with the move

Education:
Start a new course by July

They all seem pretty realistic and doable. At least I think so anyway.
Before he left, we got onto the topic about blogs and how he's keeping one as he goes along. So far, he's a good blogger! He asked if he could see mine. What do you think MY response was?
Haha.

Apprieciate your moments.

2007-05-07T16:40:29Z

Throughout your life, you have moments. Moments that you want to forget. Moments that you relive in your memory from time to time. Even moments that haven't happened yet - but you wish or plan on them. Hell, this is a moment right now!

But sometimes, those moments can leave such an impact on you - they can change you. Your views, looks, those you consider your friends, life in general.

Today - I'm going to have a moment that is going to change me. Just me. It's a moment when I have to say goodbye to someone who I care about and we begin our test of how much we really care for another. The moment will probably start off nice - usual conversational stuff, joking around. Then as the moment goes on, we're going to run out of things to say because we know what is about to happen. Emotions are going to take over on the moment and probably become uncontrollable. Next, the moment will slowly end in silence. There will be nothing to say because there IS nothing TO say that will make the moment any better. The moment will then end with an embrace, goodbye and finally someone is going to walkaway from someone.

That's my moment. What's yours?

Get paid - that's what the advertisment says.

2007-05-06T20:43:54Z

I saw Spider-Man 3 last night with Tim. *Sighs*
People - where do I begin? The movie SUCKED. I was really dissappointed!
And can we all say "long" together? Holy crap! It was just as lengthy as LOTR! And technically in the real-story with Spiderman, Green Goblin Jr. we'll call him, stays as an enemy.

There is a movie coming out though that is released in September (?) - Across the Universe, which looks like a gooder. Something that looks like you're gonna have to be on Acid for too (kidding!). But all of its songs are the Beatles and occurs in the 60's <- an era I totally dig and wish I grew up in.
http://-a.movietrailersrock.com/video/34395/across-the-universe.html
Mainly I just want to see the movies because of the Beatle songs but overall, it just looks like a movie that's artistically different.
Besides..it's got a hot Britsh actor in it whose the main character ^_^

thebestofjenn @ 2007-05-03T21:43:00

2007-05-04T03:44:26Z

A memorable weekend is about to happen. I'm excited.

"Is something the matter?"

2007-05-03T02:48:46Z

Here's what I want to do: cry
The fact that so much is happening in my life right now, is overwhelming. I can barely grasp and comprehend anything from one thing to the next. If time could slow down, I would really apprieciate the favour.

Here's whatelse I want to do: drive away and don't stop till I'm far from here.
I don't know to where. Just somewhere. If I had a place in the mountains, I would probably go hide out there till whenever I felt better. I think as time goes on..or as life goes on..I'll eventually do that. Get a cabin or something up there. Getaway home. I occassionally wish Ontario was only next door to Alberta, just so I could go see old friends back in the T-Dot and go on weekends. That would be awesome but would never happen. Well the Alberta-next-to-Ontario type of thing anyway.